Stress Management Techniques for a Calmer Life

By Ben Brafman

Stress management plays an important role in how effectively we're able to combat stress and other anxieties we experience in our everyday lives. We all have things that stress us out, be it bills piling up, an upcoming deadline at work or problems at home, and we all deal with those stresses differently. Stress levels that aren't healthily managed and worked on are capable of wreaking havoc on our minds, bodies, emotions and behaviors. The key word mentioned in the previous sentence is healthily, as Americans especially are notorious for utilizing unhealthy tactics to combat their stress like smoking, drinking and abusing pills and drugs to name a few.

Since avoiding stress altogether is just not reasonable, it's imperative that we all learn and practice effective stress management techniques so we don't become overwhelmed with anxiety and consumed with worry. Nonprofit organization Help Guide offers some insight on healthy ways to deal with stressful situations by utilizing their "Four A's: Avoid, Alter, Adapt and Accept."

Stress Management Using the Four A's

Avoid- Avoid unnecessary stress. This is not advising you to avoid all stress in your life as again, that's not possible nor is it healthy. For example, a large part of effective stress management is knowing your limits and when you're close to reaching them. When you have a full plate, you have to learn how to say "no" to taking on additional responsibilities that you're unable to handle. This could be at work, home or even in your social life. If there are people, circumstances or even topics of conversation that are hot-button issues for you, either limit the amount of time you're exposed to them or avoid them entirely.

Alter- Alter the situation. If a stressful situation is unavoidable, think of different ways you can alter it so it doesn't continue to come up and provide you with excess stress. Many of us are guilty of bottling our feelings up and not being open and honest about things that upset us. The longer we go without expressing how we feel the more resentment builds up inside us. A great stress management technique is simply voicing our feelings as a method of altering the situation. Honesty can lead to understanding, which can lead to compromise, which can lead to reaching a happy middle ground for all.

Adapt- Adapt to the stressor. If you can't change the situation or individual that is causing you stress, change how you respond to it. Start by reframing the problem in a more positive light. Give yourself some perspective by looking at the big picture. Is this something that's still going to matter in a day, a month, a year etc? One of the most effective forms of stress management is to focus on all of the positive things you have going on in your life. The simple act of taking some time to breathe and be reflective and thankful for all the good in your life can be incredibly calming and help you keep things in perspective, while not sweating the small stuff.

Accept- Accept the things you cannot change. One of the hardest things for us as individuals to do is to accept the fact that we can't control everything as it can make us feel powerless against the things that cause us grief. That said, achieving this acceptance and stopping your efforts to control things out of our control can be incredibly empowering and another important focus of stress management. Accept the fact that you cannot control the behavior of another person but you can control the manner in which you let it affect you and react to it. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Accepting that people are going to mess up from time to time and choosing to let go of lingering anger and resentment is another great way to free yourself from unnecessary stress.

Feeling Overwhelmed and Stressed? 12 Ideas to Fix the Pressure

Stress can happen because of a lot of different things that we have to deal with daily. Sometimes it can be difficult to figure out why stress exists and what triggers it, and it can be hard to find ways to relieve yourself of it. This article can help you learn how to deal with your stressful situations. Stop feeling overwhelmed and stressed; fix the pressure and relax. Here is how.

1. If you have problems with a particular class, a tutor can be very helpful. A tutor will be there to help you understand the material better so you don't feel stressed when you have to take an exam. Being prepared is the best feeling you can have on test day and it is important to feel that way if you do not want to be anxious.

2. Be sure to inform all the people in your inner circle that your stress has nothing to do with them. Surrounding family members often feel responsible for contributing to your stress, most especially children. Deal with stress on your own, and be sure you never blame it on others.

3. Smile more, and you will feel naturally less stressed. When smiling, the muscles used trigger your limbic system, your emotional center that is located in the brain. Smiling will tilt your limbic system to a calmer state, which is a great way to lower your stress levels.

4. Don't use the word "stress" so much. If you keep telling yourself you are very hungry, before long you will be famished and the same is true for feeling stressed. Find another way to look at your situation. If you keep using the word stress, you will end up making it worse.

5. Stress can relieved with the help of pets. There is research that indicates that simply petting an pet for a couple of minutes lowers stress levels.

6. One great way to relieve stress and feel great is to take a long, relaxing bath. Try some of the many wonderful scented soaps or oils available that can add a touch of luxury to your bath Read a book or listen to soothing music. You can recharge your mind and body and let your stress drain away when you indulge yourself in a long, hot bath.

7. Always make sure you take a moment for yourself every day. It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of joe, or reading a book you love. It just needs to be something that lets you fight the stress and calm down.

8. A simple and easy way to reduce stress is to smile. People smile naturally when they are cheerful and calm, and if you force yourself to smile, you will actually start to feel like that, too. Force yourself to smile and you will feel better after a while. Smiling in the midst of a stressful period can really help you relax and unwind.

9. Make sure you are organized in all aspects of your life if you would like to reduce your stress levels. Perhaps your stress comes from procrastinating or simply forgetting about what you need to do. Stay organized; your stress level will decrease when you feel in control.

10. An excellent method of calming down when you have a stressful day is to do a special act for another person. Consider buying a little treat or toy for your child, or surprising your partner with their favorite meal. By placing your focus on someone else, you draw attention away from your own stress.

11. Single out your main sources of tension, and find ways to minimize or eliminate your exposure to it. For example, you may have a friend that consistently drains with their negativity. You may benefit from limiting your exposure to this negative influence. Cutting out the stress factors in your life can improve your physical and emotional health.

12. When managing stress, it is vital that you also understand how to control your anger. Anger can be damaging to your body, so it is very important to remain calm even when you have feelings of anger. In order to keep your stress from getting the best of you, it can be extremely helpful to learn some strategies for managing your anger in a healthy way.

Feeling overwhelmed and stressed is not pleasant, and it can do long term damage to your health. However, when you implement the ideas you've learned in this article, you will be able to better manage any stress that life has to offer.

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Larry L. Taylor - About the Author:

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Stress and Your Health

In my last article, I talked about "stress stupidity" and how it causes us to make mistakes and lose time. It actually does more than that:

A recently released Yale University study, published online the week of January 9, 2012, in the journal Biological Psychiatry, shows that stress causes the brain to shrink because the stress hormones eat away at brain tissue, literally making holes in your brain.

One highly-stressful episode, such as our remote ancestors suffered when they ran from ravenous beasts, doesn't necessarily produce the "holes in the brain" phenomenon. Instead, it's the steady daily diet of stress with which many people live in the 21st century that causes the problem.

This steady onslaught of stress, which may be low-level but persistent, is similar to drops of water dripping onto stone: a slow wearing down.

Lack of focus, concentration problems, inability to set priorities, and difficulty in making decisions are more behavioral signs that signal the presence of "stress stupidity." The very qualities that we need in order to be successful in life are impaired; you may come to believe that there is no way out of your stressful life.

Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman describes this psychological state as "learned helplessness"; the inability to find the "way out" of your dilemmas. Not only do your problem-solving skills suffer, but so does your motivation.

The dogs in his initial experiment, who were given shocks that they could not escape, and were then put in a box where there was an escape route, failed to see the escape route, even when shown! They simply lay down and absorbed repeated shocks.

"Learned helplessness" has been identified as a psychological pattern associated with many of the most severe illnesses. It does not start as a result of the illness; it is in place years before the illness develops.

Here are some ways to avoid developing learned helplessness.

Take frequent mini-breaks during the day during which you take a deep breath and ask yourself, "In the long run, what really matters here?"

When you make mistakes, learn to laugh at yourself instead of getting more stressed. Use the phrase "Stress makes you stupid."

And when you feel blocked, say to yourself, "There is a solution. I just can't see it right now."

Then take a break, take a walk, talk to a friend, spend a few minutes planning to do something special for yourself later on. Because a brain is a terrible thing to lose.



Lynette Crane - About the Author:

Lynette Crane, M.A.(Psychology) and Certified Life Coach,is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer, and coach. She has more than 30 years' experience in the field of stress management. She currently works to provide stress and time pressure solutions to harried women, those women who seek "Islands of Peace" in their overly-busy lives. Her talks to groups of what she calls "harried women" are receiving rave reviews. Visit her website at http://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-depth articles and to view her programs.