How to Select a Coach, and Just What Does a Coach Do, Anyway?

Sherman Chavoor, the legendary coach who developed Mark Spitz throughout childhood and was his trusted advisor at the 1972 Olympic games, could not swim a stroke. And yet, he brought Spitz to the absolute pinnacle of the sport.

I tell this story because I am a coach to people in a variety of professional endeavours that I have never personally been involved in. It helps that I've been a psychotherapist to lawyers for years, and have thus developed a deep understanding of the insecurities and burdens that pertain to the profession. It helps that I've worked around physicians in a variety of settings for many years, but I've never practiced law or medicine, or been an architect or a traditional business consultant.

Far more important than having 'been there, done that' is the formation of a trusitng relationship. The coach sets the tone for the relationship, but is careful to not impose his own goals or needs on his client. His job within that trusting relationship is to understand what the client is capable of, whether the client fully grasps this or not.

Example: On the night before the 100 meter freestyle final against a field that included a fierce challenger named Jerry Heidenreich, Spitz was so frightened he could not rest, and called Chavoor to say he didn't think he could do it, and wanted to drop out. Chavoor wouldn't hear of it, and we know the rest. Of note is the fact that had Chavoor not been there, Mark would probably have dropped the race from his program.

Also, had Spitz not seen Chavoor as someone he could trust, then he would never have called him.

It is that element of trust and engagement that the good coach brings to the relationship.

It is interesting to me that so often, I meet professionals who have already worked with a 'coach' and have become disenchanted. Why? Because, I have discovered, the coach failed to develop precisely the sense of trust in the client that they were ostensibly trying to help the client develop with HIS clients. How often I've heard of practice coaches being disingenuous, unavailable, unengaged.

The good coach 'engages'---a quick check reveals that to 'engage' is to be 'under pledge'....that is, I pledge to you that you will have my full attention and that when you reach out, I will be there for you. And this is backed up in behavior with quickly returned phone calls, meetings held regularly and on time, and the hard to define sense that as a client, it is clear to you that you and your work are important to the coach...

That is all for now, but will be back soon with a continuation of the series on business development....

Further Developments in Business Development

when we left off in june, we were discussing business development, and i plan to continue here today.

the last topic touched on had to do with how to react after you have done the following: 1-scheduled a meeting with a prospect 2-gathered information on what services that person needs 3-showed her how you could provide that and 4) asked for the assignment

we all know what to do next if the prospective client says 'yes': say 'thank you for the assignment, it will be an honor to help you with that' and then get proactive.

but what to do if the answer is 'no'?

a recent very popular book 'the four agreements' by miguel ruiz speaks to this in agreement #2. Don't Take Anything Personally--Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

i interpret this in the following manner. of course, you will take the rejection personally. it is unavoidable. that is the primordial emotion. but we must educate ourselves past that with ruiz' important observation about the true nature of the interpersonal universe. i will go on to say that this interpersonal universe is a mysterious place that knows no centers. by that i mean, it is only my deeply flawed illusion that tells me i am the center of this world.

how does this guide the lawyer or service professional who has gotten over all his misgivings about 'sales' and taken it upon himself to make his own good fortune? it means that she will take note of the fact that she got as far as the meeting, and gained valuable information not only about the prospect's business but also about their competitor's businesses (i.e. potential clients), and she will go back and further research the company and industry for legislative changes that will impact them. she will then contact that person regularly with the results of this research and will continue to speak to and interact with this person for the foreseeable future...

more later