I had originally planned to make this post to my Facebook account, but decided it was worth the deeper treatment I can give it here. But first, regarding FB-- with the new timeline feature, you can quickly and easily discover all the twists and turns of your FB 'journey'....I was shocked to realize that I had signed on in 2007. I didn't do much with it that year, because I really didn't understand it, even though I'd been using different hobby forums since the early 00s. My primary use of FB is to stay in touch with fellow cyclists and swimmers/triathletes (although I am not a tri, I like to keep up with my friends who are, even though I personally despise triathlons); post cultural things of interest to me having to do with music, books, movies, and the occasional wise crack at the things posted by friends and relatives.
But I digress, I digress...last night, I woke from a dream that erased itself as I awoke, like an ocean wave erasing letters in the sand. But a voice from Sleepworld left these words in my head: 'You cannot change another's ideology by forcibly stating your own'. I thought it interesting that FB had so penetrated my consciousness that its issues are being tossed around in my sleep, but that's beside the point.
You cannot change others' ideology even by gently stating your own, anymore than someone else could change yours, or mine. Trial lawyers call it a pissing match. It is a useless, pointless exercise in narcissistic futility. All that really happens is that the Other hardens his ideology, becoming more vociferous, more paranoid in its defense. Why, why, why then, people, the endless parade of banners proclaiming this, that or the other attack or defense? Does it come from the same basic impulse expressed by Ratso Rizzo in 'Midnight Cowboy' when he banged on the hood of a taxi and said 'Hey, I'M WALKIN' here!'
Of late, there is endless argy-bargy about gay rights, a chicken restaurant, and gay marriage. I don't believe any amount of digital shouting by either side is going to change the other even slightly, but I do think there is one possibility of change that gets little attention. Over the last couple of years, my wife and I have become close friends with a married gay couple. During that time, I have not heard either one of these guys say anything that indicates a willingness to get into the whole ridiculous tangle of moral/ethical/philosophical/political side choosing and 'debate'. Nor have I seen either one of them post any internet based manifestos in support of their side or against the other 'side'. They appear to me to be two people who know and accept themselves for who and what they are, are comfortable with the style of life they've chosen, and who plan to keep on living it, without proclaiming the goodness or the moral rightness of it.
Their quiet example-simply going about their business- is to me is a far stronger manifesto than any cleverly worded put down posted on Facebook
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